Kriss Akabusi had some real gems to share with us in our recent Alumnair Portraits interview.

The one I liked best was this one:

“The past is for reference, not for residence”.

The original quote (from author Roy T. Bennett) is a bit longer, with an additional insight; “…the past is a place of learning, not a place of living”.

The past is for referring back to and looking at what we’ve learned, the present is for building on those experiences and preparing for the future. 

But very often, we get stuck in the past!

The past is an easier place to spend time (after all it’s familiar, even if not always comfortable) but it keeps us in an unhealthy cycle, like a dog chasing his tail, always hoping it will be different on the next turn but still having no sense of progress. 

There is a lot of robust science behind this, including the well-known fight-or-flight mechanism that prevents us from walking headlong into danger. Very useful in an actually dangerous situation, but often holding us back from seizing opportunities, taking professional risks or just trying something totally new. 

Luckily our brains are well equipped and characteristics such as neuroplasticity enable us to change, learn and develop new abilities. 

You know the expression “practice makes perfect”?

OK, so let’s practice looking to the future!

Here are a few ideas you can try.

Use your natural human curiosity. The more you reflect and research, the more you learn and the more your brain gets comfortable with this new knowledge. It becomes part of your past (learned). And it keeps you busy!

Pay attention to the here and now. Try to do all your daily activities consciously, being attentive to how you do things, asking yourself why you do that, how could you do it differently. You’ll get to know yourself better and help yourself to learn. Your brain is more awake and wakes up the rest of your body. 

Notice when something gets you anxious or stressed. What’s happening? What’s the film that’s rolling in your head at that moment? How does it make you feel? Where do you feel these things? How could you change that film to a different outcome? How does that new outcome change how you feel? Practice makes perfect. You’ll get better at calming the anxiety.  

Be kind to yourself. Rome wasn’t built in a day and you can’t reprogramme your thinking in a day either. Give your body opportunities to breathe, to relax, to step away from activity and find a moment of calm, to just be. And notice what’s going on in these moments. 

Congratulate yourself. You’re getting there.

Development